What is Your Secret?

It’s a peaceful cloudy afternoon. I can feel the gentle autumn breeze on my skin as I take my relaxing afternoon walk after work. I like this time of day, at this time of year, where the temperature is just right, the sun is about to set and the hustle and bustle of the city is starting to quiet down, but it hasn’t become night yet. I like to take the opportunity to clear my head during these walks, to let my mind wander without any distractions. That’s why I didn’t initially register when my name was called.

“Uhm, hello dumbass? Are you listening, or is your head up in the clouds again?”

I quickly turn around, startled by the sudden comment. After I recognise that it’s my best friend however, I immediately relax again.

“Shit, my bad! I didn’t see you there.” I let out an awkward laugh, a little embarrassed that I didn’t hear her calling for me initially.

“Don’t worry, I’m not offended. I know how much you love ignoring me after all!” She says teasingly, letting out a playful laugh.

“Come on now, you know that’s not true! I only like to ignore you sometimes,” I say, playing along with the joke and giving her a playful nudge.

“Shut up, you dick! Now you’re just asking for it,” she playfully pushes me back.

We bantered and playfully fought one another for a while. We have been fully grown adults for years now, but we still act like dumb teenagers towards each other, it never gets old. Some people find the way we act strange, but we pay them no mind. It’s our friendship and we’re both happy with it, so that’s what matters.

We are too distracted by our banter to realize that it was starting to rain. By the time we realized it, the light drizzle was turning into a full-on thunderstorm.

“Ah shit! Did it really have to start raining now?” She exclaims, annoyed.

“I didn’t prepare for this at all, I’ll be soaking wet by the time I get back home!”

“Don’t worry buddy, I got you,” I say as I pull out my umbrella. I don’t usually carry one with me, but I had a hunch that I’d need it today. I open it up and try to hand it over to her.

“Awww, how considerate of you! I won’t accept your offer though, you need some protection from the rain yourself, after all.”

“Come on now, my jacket has a hoodie, that should be enough to protect me. You don’t even have that on you!”

“Against this thunderstorm? No way José! Don’t worry about me, dummy, I’ll be fine! You know me, the worst thing that can happen to me is a cold.”

The rain started pouring down hard on us now. I knew I couldn’t let my best friend get soaked, so I did the only thing I could think of.

“Well, if you won’t take it, fine. But this umbrella is big enough for the both of us. We just need to get a little closer,” I pull her close, so we’re both under the umbrella.

She gasps in surprise at my gesture but says nothing in protest. I’d expect that she would make some sort of witty remark for doing something like this, but she just stays silent. It perplexes me.

My heart is racing as we walk; it’s a thrilling sensation, being so close to each other. I should be freezing my ass off right now, but I feel so warm just from being close to her.

Only the sounds of rain and thunder filled the air as we made our way to her apartment. I started to wonder if she was feeling awkward about the whole situation, so I tried to get a read on how she felt by glancing at her face. I couldn’t see much from this angle unfortunately, though I did notice that her cheeks were beet red.

We made it back to her place, both of us mostly dry from the rain. Before going inside, she looked back at me.

“Hey thanks for that. I appreciate it,” she said in an unusually shy tone.

“You’re welcome. It’s nothing, really!”

We awkwardly smile at each other for a couple of moments until she finally broke the ice with a question.

“Uhm, do you want to, like, hang out this weekend maybe? Go somewhere nice to eat?”

I wasn’t expecting this. We have been friends for a long time, but we always hung out on impulse, never really planned anything out. Her asking me like this was an unexpected but pleasant surprise.

“I don’t have anything planned for the weekend, so sure! Any time will do.”

My friend smiled at my response.

“Good! Does Sunday at 6 o’ clock work for you then?”

“6 AM or PM?” I replied in a sarcastic tone.

“What do you think, dummy? If you really think that I would get up at the crack of dawn to meet your ass, then you’re sorely mistaken!”, she shot back with a playful wink.

We both laughed at our stupid jokes and teased each other some more. The sun was beginning to set, so I had to start heading back to my home.

“Well, I have to get going now. Have a good afternoon, buddy!”

“You too dummy. Don’t forget about our meeting on Sunday!”

I had already started walking away when I yelled out a reply, “Don’t worry, I won’t! My memory’s better than yours after all!”

From a distance, I could see her rolling her eyes. She flipped me the bird, and I laughed before the rain obscured my view of her.

The rain started to let up on the way back home. I could finally close my umbrella and rest my arm a bit.

I pass by a nostalgic place, an old, run-down skate park my best friend and I used to frequent when we were teenagers. It’s not exactly a marvel to look at, and some shady characters can show up here at night, but my friend and I made a lot of good memories here. We like to revisit this spot every now and then, reminiscing of the old times and trying to spot any new additions to the ever-growing collection of graffiti.

I look around, I’m able to catch sight of some new additions, but it’s nothing particularly interesting. I’ve just about had my fill of nostalgia and am about to leave when, at the corner of my eye, I see… something. A wave of unease hits me like a truck, I immediately turn my attention towards it, but whatever I thought I saw was now gone. I feel relieved, but I am not quite sure why.

Whatever it was, it left something behind. A new piece of graffiti has appeared in the corner of one of the walls. For some inexplicable reason, I feel the overpowering urge to check it out. I wonder why; what could possibly be so intriguing? I mull it over for a while, then ultimately decide that there’s no harm in taking a closer look. It is just some graffiti after all, what harm could it possibly bring me?

I start walking toward it. Despite the coming of nightfall, the area is still lit decently well, but for some reason, the new graffiti is hard to make out. My curiosity is piqued, so I get closer, hoping to get a better look.

I am really close now, but I still can’t quite decipher what I’m looking at. The last time I checked, my vision was as sharp as ever! Unless I have suddenly started to go blind, this is very unusual. I take out my phone and shine a light on it, hoping I’ll finally be able to see the graffiti clearly.

It works; the jagged black text becomes perfectly legible. There are only 4 words: “What is Your Secret?”

I can feel a sharp pain in my head after reading those 4 words. Sweat drips down my forehead and my heartbeat races. I can sense an unknown threat watching me intently. I no longer feel safe here. I panic and run as fast as I can out of that place, only stopping once I put a good amount of distance between me and it.

I take a moment to lean towards a random wall so I can catch my breath and calm down a little. Once I manage to regain my composure, I go through the events that just unfolded in my head, trying to understand what the hell just happened. I was at the skate park, everything was normal until I saw that thing in the corner of my eye, and then… it’s all a blur. All I remember is panicking and running like my life was dependent on it. Now I’m here. This is strange, this is really fucking strange.

I feel a sense of unease as I continue heading home. It only let up once I entered my apartment, but even then, it was only a little. That whole experience deeply unsettled me, in a way I can’t fully comprehend yet. I try not to think about it as I do my nightly routine, but I can’t quite shake it from my mind. Normally, I would watch some YouTube videos or kill time in another dumb and unproductive way, but I feel exhausted. I lay on my comfortable bed and quickly drift into a calm, uneventful sleep.

A couple of days have passed since that incident, and I am no closer to understanding what happened than I was before. Every time I try to think about it, my memory gets fuzzy, like I am trying to tune into a radio channel with bad signal. All I can really remember are the emotions: the panic, the uneasiness, the exhaustion, but even those are hazy. It’s as if I’m trying to recall a bad dream I had. I try to convince myself that maybe it was just that, a bad dream. One so vivid that I mistook it for a memory. It happens sometimes, but that reasoning doesn’t quite sit right with me.

When I clock out of work and start heading back home, I find myself taking a different route than I usually do. I don’t even realize that I’m doing this until today, when that run-down skate park came to mind again.

That’s right, I think to myself, I haven’t passed by the skate park in a while. I am not sure why, but I get a strange feeling of unease when I think about that place now. A place that once brought me so much joy now I want to avoid at all costs.

I arrive at my apartment complex and do a routine check of my mailbox. I expect the usual bills, advertisements or the like, but instead, I find a peculiar envelope. It is devoid of any characteristics; no address, no name, no stamp, no nothing really. I felt a little unsettled at first, but then I remembered something.

Why of course! This is a prank my best friend and I used to pull on each other all the time. We’d go to one another’s houses, slip a random envelope into our mailboxes or under our doors. We wrote all sorts of random and weird stuff on those letters, sometimes we’d also include a bizarre item or two as well. We did this to fuck with each other, but I found it silly and cute. Neither of us had done this to one another in a long time, so seeing it again now is a pleasant nostalgic surprise for me.

I smiled, now eager to open the envelope and see what’s inside. However, the humour of the situation quickly fades as I see what was inside. It was a simple piece of folded up paper. As I unfold it, I find only 4 words written in a black, ink-like substance: “What is Your Secret?”.

That same sharp pain hits me once more after I read those words. It is much more intense this time, causing my vision to blur and my ears to ring. I instinctively throw the envelope back into the mailbox and slam its little door shut. I bolt up the stairs and into my apartment.

Quickly, I unlock the door and shut it behind me, but there is no relief this time. I can recall the events from a couple of days ago clearly again. I recognise the same presence, but I sense that it’s stronger now. I am hyperventilating like crazy and my head is killing me. I sit down on the floor to steady myself to avoid passing out.

I wasn’t so easily able to compose myself now. The anxiety coursing through me was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It felt like a lot of tiny pricks piercing my skin, it was driving me nuts!

That letter, was my best friend really the one that sent it? I needed to call her, I needed to make sure.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket, quickly found her number in my contacts, and called it. I sat there for a solid minute, listening to the ringtone, praying she’d pick up. Eventually, she did, and I heard her voice on the other end of the line.

“Hey dummy, what’s up? Did you lose your keys to your apartment again or something?”, she said in her usual jokey attitude.

“Haha, funny”, I managed to blurt out. I was too overwhelmed by everything to be my usual sarcastic self.

“Hey, are you doing alright? You sound pretty stressed out”, her tone immediately changed to one of concern.

“Uhm uhh… I just uhm… erm…”, my mind raced, I forgot what I wanted to say. I felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. What the hell did I want to talk about?

“Is something troubling you? If so, you know you can talk to me. No pressure though.”

Her reassuring words gave me some comfort. We may tease one another all the time, but it’s because we both really care about each other. It’s just our own unique way of showing it.

I managed to calm down a little more until I was able to find my voice again.

“Uhm, well, yes actually, I wanted to ask you something”, I said, still trying to remember what I wanted to ask her.

“Oh, you can ask me anything! I don’t mind if you need a moment to think about it, take your time,” she replied reassuringly.

I felt my breathing normalize and my heartbeat steady. I could think straight again. I remember what I wanted to ask.

“Well it’s kind of dumb but, I just got a very strange letter in the mail today and wanted to ask… Was it you who sent it?”

There is a brief pause on her end, then she promptly replies.

“A letter? No, I haven’t sent you anything like that, it’s been forever since I’ve sent anyone a letter actually.”

A moment of relief washes over me, but it’s quickly replaced by a nagging question: If she didn’t send it, then who did?

“Oh okay, good to know, thanks for answering me. That letter had some pretty strange stuff written on it, so I thought it might’ve been one of your old pranks or something.”

“Strange stuff? What did it say?”

I froze. For some reason, I didn’t want to say what was written in that letter. It was 4 simple words, but I can’t bring myself to tell them to her.

“I’d rather not think about it, probably some random weirdo trying to freak people out,” I laughed awkwardly, hoping my excuse would satisfy her curiosity.

“I see…”, she says, her voice still has a tone of concern.

“Do you want me to come over and check up on you? Maybe we can take that weird letter and burn it into ashes or something like that,” we both giggle at the idea.

I’d love to accept her offer but some inexplicable mental block is holding me back from doing so.

“Nah nah I’m fine, I’ll probably just throw it in the trash or something. You don’t have to come over. I’d hate to take up your time like that.”

“It’s only a short drive to your place, I wouldn’t mind!”

“I really appreciate it. I’m just feeling exhausted, I’d rather spend some time with myself instead.”

There is a brief pause on her end before she replies.

“Oh, I understand. Feel free to text or call me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay, thank you.”

I hung up and put my hands on my face. Something felt really off about the words I spoke, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Why did I avoid discussing the contents of the letter? Why did I tell her to not come over, despite wanting her company? Why do those 4 words evoke such a primal sense of fear in me?

“What is Your Secret?” It’s such a simple question to ask, but whatever is asking me it… wants to do something terrible to me. I don’t know how I know this; I just… do.

I finally manage to stand up. I go through my usual nighttime routine, but I can’t get that damn question out of my head! “What is Your Secret?”

What secret? I don’t have a secret! At least, nothing that’s anyone’s business. Whoever is asking must have the wrong guy, because there are no interesting secrets to be found here!

I lay down in bed. My thoughts are going nowhere. They’re in a loop that’s being perpetuated by that single question: “What is Your Secret?”

Eventually, I drift into an uncomfortable, dreamless sleep.

When I wake up, I don’t feel well-rested. That damn question is all I can think about still: “What is your Secret?”

The day comes and goes in a blur. I feel confused, disoriented, as if my body and mind aren’t in sync. Things that should feel familiar now carry a strange tinge of unfamiliarity. I sense a presence watching my every move. I can feel tiny pricks all over my skin. I’m so scared.

I think I’m having a mental breakdown. Over what? Some graffiti and a weird letter I received in the mail? I knew I was pathetic, but not to this degree.

I’m starting to question if those events were even real to begin with or if I imagined it all in my head. I thought of going back to the skate park, to check if that graffiti was still there. I couldn’t do it, I chickened out.

When I arrived home, I thought to check my mailbox, to see if that accursed envelope was still there. I went to approach the mailbox, but before I could open it I froze. I couldn’t fight the urge to run away, so I did.

I came home feeling exhausted. I just sat out on the balcony, absentmindedly staring out at nothing. I hoped the fresh air would clear my mind a bit.

I sit there for a long time, watching as the sun sets on the horizon, its warm glow bringing me much-needed comfort. I can feel myself decompressing bit by bit.

As the sun finally dips below the skyline, the view transforms into a tapestry of city lights twinkling in the distance. Now that I think about it, I wonder why I don’t come to sit here more often. It’s really nice.

A sudden blackout interrupts my train of thought, plunging the city into darkness. I’m caught by surprise; we haven’t had a power outage this severe in a very long time. I groan in frustration, as there’s very little to do without electricity.

My frustration melts away as I catch a glimpse of the night sky. I notice how much it has lit up. I never see the stars this clearly anymore due to the light pollution, so this is a very welcome sight. I am in awe, I didn’t realize how much I missed seeing the stars until now. The scene reminds me of a nostalgic memory, I smile as I recall it.

It was a long time ago, my best friend and I were on vacation together with our families. We were out of town in a small village surrounded by lush, beautiful woods. We would spend all day hanging out and messing around with nature, just the two of us. Ah, how simple those times truly were, I miss them dearly. We had to keep track of the time, though, as our parents wanted us to be back home before it got dark.

On one evening, my friend was really stubborn about showing me something she found. I was starting to get anxious because the sun was setting, but she kept insisting that it would be worth the trouble and that I just needed to trust her. At some point I gave up trying to persuade her otherwise and simply followed. She led me to a steep hill and wanted us to climb on top of it. The sunlight was dwindling, so our visibility was limited. Despite that, we slowly made our way to the top, assisting each other every step of the way.

When we reached the top, we were met with a breathtaking sight. The night sky was mesmerizing; an ocean of thousands of stars and galaxies, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing! I trusted my friend, but I hadn’t realized how right she was until that very moment. After she finished teasing me about how she was always right, we lay down on the grass and admired the night sky together, making up imaginary constellations, joking about which one of us would survive longest in space, and sharing other silly thoughts like that.

By the time we came back, it was super late. Our parents gave us one hell of a scolding for disobeying them, but neither of us cared. That experience was so worth it. That memory is everything to me, one of the most treasured moments of my life.

I felt like a teen again, thinking back to that time. I took a deep breath, savouring the moment, and let all these beautiful sensations wash over me like the waves of a warm ocean.

The peace wouldn’t last long, unfortunately, as without warning, I was jolted out of my delightful trance. It was the wind, it carried a strange sound with it. I listened closely, hoping to be able to make out what it was. Through the autumn breeze, I was barely able to discern a voice. It was faint, but I heard it. It was a simple question posed to me: “What is Your Secret?”

I felt that sharp pain strike me once again. The severity of it was increased thousandfold, causing me to exclaim out loud in pain. All the colour drained from my face as I realized what had just happened. The serenity of the moment was now replaced with an all-too-familiar panic. I felt unsafe, like I was the prime target of a hungry beast readying itself to ambush me and tear me apart.

“No… I won’t let you,” I exclaimed out loud, trying to sound confident.

I managed to get myself to stand up. I balled up my fists and tried to appear as intimidating as possible.

“I won’t let you have my secret, it is not yours to have. Leave me the fuck alone!” I exclaimed, summoning all the confidence I could muster.

I was praying silently that whatever the thing hunting me was would be deterred by my false display of bravado.

When I turned around, I realized how dead wrong I was. Peeking over the roof of my apartment was… a face.

All the courage I mustered up evaporated in an instant as I helplessly stared at that hideous visage. There were countless sharp, jagged teeth and multiple rows of beady little eyes were looking directly at me. I could feel its bottomless hunger, its desire to search through me, to tear me apart piece by piece.

A little further back, I could see numerous tiny limbs, all twitching, writhing and moving in ways that should be impossible.

I couldn’t risk standing there any longer. I made a mad dash for my bedroom, hoping that thing wouldn’t get the opportunity to catch me. I felt it swipe at me with one of its limbs, but I just barely managed to evade it, stumbling into the safety of my room.

I immediately slammed the windows shut. I could see that thing moving outside, so I closed the curtains too. I didn’t want to look at it-I couldn’t look at it. I had no idea what it was capable of, or if that flimsy barrier separating us would keep it out, but I didn’t know what else to do. I briefly considered leaving the apartment, but wouldn’t it just chase after me? I didn’t know and I didn’t really want to find out either.

The scratching of thousands of little fingers started to loudly echo through my dark bedroom. The cacophony made my ears ring, pain erupted throughout my body as I felt the sensation of thousands of tiny needles digging into my skin.

I cover my ears to try to block out the noise, but it doesn’t help in the slightest. My legs feel like jelly, causing me to fall onto my ass. I start to cry and scratch my skin, desperately trying to find any sort of relief from the pain. I can feel the thing trying to get into my head. I can’t allow it to get in, I can’t!

A new sound manages to break through the maddening wall of noise; it was my phone’s notification tone! I shakily pulled it out of my pocket, hoping that whoever is texting me can distract me from the pain I’m going through right now.

I see that I have 4 new SMS messages, all from my best friend.

10:44 PM: “hii p nasty blackout huh? hope ur ok -w-”

10:46 PM: “ik u r a pussy with darkness, bet u r cryin leik a lil bitch now! >:P”

10:49 PM: “feel very lonely in the dark rn, hurry up n respond 2 me dummy!!!! >:0”

11:14 PM: “u don’t usually take this long to text back. everything ok?”

What the hell? How did I miss the previous texts? It doesn’t feel like that much time has passed since the thing started to torment me. I quickly type out a response.

11:16 PM: “Hey, sorry for taking so long to respond. I just wasn’t paying attention to my phone, haha!”

I make up an excuse on the spot, I don’t think I can explain to her what’s going on right now. I get a response from her almost immediately.

11:16 PM: “OMG I WAS SO WORRIED!!!!”

11:16 PM: “DID SMTH HAPPEN??????”

Oh, something is happening alright. A giant nightmare from HELL is on my balcony and it’s driving me absolutely insane! But how can I even begin explaining that to her? She’ll think I’m insane!

11:19 PM: “Don’t worry. I’m just a little anxious, that’s all.”

I laugh out loud to myself. “Just a little anxious?” Get the fuck out of here, me. That’s like trying to label a full-on nuclear meltdown as just a little accident! I get another quick response.

11:19 PM: “anxious??? is it abt the power outage or the stupid letter from yesterday??”

11:22 PM: “Not sure, both I think? I don’t know anymore, I’m such a mess right now.”

11:24 PM: “listen dummy, yk u can be honest with me abt this stuff!! ur always safe to speak ur mind with me, ok?”

Every inch of my being urges me to tell her the truth of what’s going on. I want to ask for her help, to come to my house so I’m not alone in facing whatever this is. I long for her embrace, to hear that this is all a bad dream and that everything is going to be okay. Once again, something stops me, my fingers can’t write out the words I want to express. Instead, they type out something else entirely.

11:28 PM: “Just freaked out about yesterday still and this power outage isn’t helping, haha. I am just being really irrational, don’t want to bother you with it.”

11:29 PM: “omg ur SUCH AN IDIOT!!! yk u never bother me! ur my best buddy 4life, yk that!!!”

The noises quieted down, the sensations became a little less intense. Her response made me smile, bringing some much-needed comfort to my aching heart.

11:33 PM: “Thank you very much. I really needed to hear that.”

11:36 PM: “ur welcome buddy, ru sure there isn’t anything u want to talk about though??”

11:36 PM: “i even can come over, if u want”

My heart stopped when I read those words. A paranoid urge told me that I shouldn’t let her be anywhere near me.

11:38 PM: “That’s very sweet of you, but I’ll be alright. I feel exhausted, need to sleep soon.”

11:39 PM: “ru sure?? do u want to text or call at least?”

As badly as I wanted her company, I couldn’t let her be close to me in any way. I had to protect her from the thing. No… I had to protect her from the secret.

11:43 PM: “No really, it’s not necessary, I am feeling better now. I’ll just go get some sleep and I’ll be a-okay tomorrow. If anything else happens, I promise that I’ll talk to you about it, okay?”

I’m such a piece of shit. I felt so guilty, how could I lie to my best friend like that? But I had to, I can’t risk exposing her to my bullshit. I need to keep her safe.

11:44 PM: “kk got it. but if u need anything im always a call away! i am always here for u”

11:45 PM: “I know I know. Likewise buddy.”

11:45 PM: “gn dummy”

11:46 PM: “oh yeah! don’t forget our meeting on sunday or else I will 👊👊👊”

Being reminded of our meeting gave me some hope. If I can just make it to that date, to that moment… everything will be okay.

11:47 PM: “You really think I’d forget that? Can’t believe you have such a low opinion of me, idiot! >:(”

11:48 PM: “mhm, ur the dumbass who forgets to turn off the sink before leaving and comes back to a flooded apartment after all (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠)”

11:49 PM: “Oh don’t use that against me now, that’s only happened like… twice!”

11:52 M: “yeah that’s right, keep coping loser >:Δ”

We kept talking for a solid hour or so after that. Getting sidetracked like that isn’t unusual for us, time just seems to disappear as a concept when we’re talking to each other.

I notice that the noises from outside have completely stopped. It’s eerily quiet now, probably because the power’s still out. I’m thankful for the silence, it feels so relieving after the horrible experience I just went through.

I close my eyes, take a deep breath and finally manage to drift off to sleep.

Sunday is here. It’s gorgeous today, there is a sort of magic in the air. Her and I are meeting up today. I felt like dressing up nicely for the occasion-it just felt right. I find her at the spot we agreed to meet, and I can see she dressed up nicely too. I am in awe; she is drop dead gorgeous!

“Uhm, hello. Nice outfit… wow.” I managed to say, too stunned to comment further.

“Thank you dummy! I spent hours picking the perfect outfit for today! Good thing you like it, or I’d be forced to beat you up until you changed your mind,” she giggles playfully. “I love your outfit too!”

I blush at her compliment.

“With how you look? Yeah, I’d definitely deserve that beating. And… thanks.”

We both laughed, then we started to walk around the city. We visited some familiar places, did the stuff we usually did, but it all felt so… different, but in a good way.

We both got really hungry at some point, so we stopped by to eat. I picked a fancy place I knew she liked. I really wanted today to be special.

We went in and got seated. The chill jazz music and ambient chatter of the other customers made for a nice atmosphere.

We were brought our menus and picked our orders. Now we were just waiting for them to arrive.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Oh sure, what is it?”

“Uhm, how do you like it tonight? Are you having fun?”

“Oh of course dummy! I’m having the time of my life!”. She smiles widely.

“I’m very happy to hear that!” Seeing her so happy takes me over the moon.

She then looks at me, with an unusually shy look in her eyes.

“Uhm, I want to ask you something too, actually…”

Something about the way she said that fills me with an excited curiosity.

“Well of course! You can ask me anything dear.” The last part of that sentence slipped out of my mouth without thinking. I feel a sense of embarrassment, but surprisingly it doesn’t seem to bother her in the slightest.

“I just wanted to ask…” She laughs awkwardly, as if she’s hesitant to continue her sentence.

“Go on, I’m listening.” My heart is beating at a million miles per hour. Is she… going to say what I think she’s going to say?

She takes a second to clear her throat, then continues speaking.

“Tell me. What is Your Secret?”

In an instant, the lively ambience of the restaurant goes completely silent. Everything around us is completely frozen in place, like time itself has come at a pause. I wipe some sweat from my forehead with shaky hands as I try to maintain my composure.

“Uhm, can you repeat yourself, please? I don’t think I heard you correctly,” I awkwardly stutter. Desperately hoping beyond hope that I simply misheard her.

Her eyes fixate on me intensely, I now notice how off they look-they don’t look like her eyes at all. My sense of terror only grows stronger as a creepy smile spreads wider across her face.

“I asked,” she says, her voice distorting loudly as she speaks, “What is Your Secret, ██████?”

I feel thousands of tiny needles hold me in place, forcing me to watch as her jaw splits open from her impossibly wide smile. Her figure distorts and breaks, as a myriad of hands erupting from her body, with a black substance gushing from every tear. I am scared shitless. I struggle to move, that makes the needles dig deeper into my skin.

This must be a bad dream, just some fucked-up nightmare, I tell myself. I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath, hoping I’ll be able to wake up.

My trick works, I wake up, but the sight I behold in front of me is much, much worse than the dream.

That thing, it’s on top of me. The damn thing is on top of me! The power is still out, but the dim light from the starry night sky highlights some of its features. It has a long, slug-like body with a chitinous mass covering its upper half, and its arms… there are so many of them, so many godforsaken arms. There must be hundreds, no, thousands of arms all over its body, each ending in tiny, needle-like fingers. They twitch and quiver in the dim light, eagerly digging through my skin, I think they’re searching for something.

The sensation is agonizing, it doesn’t even compare to any other pain I’ve felt before in my life! I sense that if I move even a little bit, those fingers will tear me apart. One awkward movement-that’s all it would take for me to become a pile of minced meat.

The thing presses down on me, putting all its weight on my chest. Even a single breath takes a tremendous amount of effort. I want to scream but I can’t, I run out of air before I can let out so much as a whimper. I can’t move, I can’t breathe, I can barely even think, I just want it to stop. Please make it stop.

The thing’s head rests atop a long neck. I can feel its rows of beady little eyes focusing directly on me, its gaze as piercing as the little needle-like fingers digging into my skin. I can’t fully make out its expression due to how dark it is, but I can see it smiling.

I don’t know what to do. I’m stuck, I’m at this thing’s mercy. Just, why me? Of all people, why is this thing after me?

What feels like an eternity passes. The piercing agony hasn’t gotten any easier to deal with, if anything, it’s only getting worse.

Vivid images begin flashing through my mind. I quickly realize that they’re memories-snapshots of my childhood, my old home, my parents, my friends, my school.

The memories are flooding my mind now. I see myself eating my favourite food at my grandma’s dinner table, playing on a swing at the playground as a child, enjoying one of my favourite video games on my old gaming console…

It’s all quite nostalgic, but then the memories take a sadder turn. I see myself scraping my knee on the playground, inviting a bunch of classmates to my birthday party only for almost none of them to show up, confessing to my first crush in high school only to get rejected in front of my so-called friends, those friends mocking me afterwards…

So many memories, so many sensations, so many little moments I thought I had forgotten forever. It’s all too overstimulating, it feels like my brain’s going to fucking explode! I try to beg the thing to stop looking, to leave me alone, to make the pain end. But it was no use; only a few pained grunts escape my dry lips. I am so helpless, it hurts.

The rapid cycling of memories abruptly stops. For a brief moment, I feel relieved, thinking that my torment is over, until I realize which memory the thing has stopped at. The day I met her, my best friend.

No, no no no, not the secret! It is getting dangerously close, it’s going to find it, fuck!

The thing shifted its many limbs, looking at me with hopeful anticipation. I sensed that it knew it was about to win, to break me, to get the secret out of me.

I heard some squelching and tearing sounds as a giant limb was produced from the thing’s stomach. This one looked much larger than the rest, with 4 long fingers as sharp as spikes. It pinched them together and made a strike directly into my heart.

The pain was excruciating, greater than everything I’ve experienced so far combined, but I could only let out a strained wheeze in response to it.

The thing started to stretch its fingers outward, creating a deep black void in my heart. Memories flashed before me again, all of them involving her this time. I saw us playing together, teasing each other, celebrating our high school graduation… As the memories grew more and more intimate, that-all-too familiar question overlaid them: “What is Your Secret?”

I tried to writhe, to scream, to put up any amount of resistance to stop this thing digging from digging into the deepest corners of my heart, but it was futile. It was only getting closer.

What does the thing want with my secret? What will it do to it when it forces it out of me? I can’t allow it to reach it, I need to keep resisting, but it’s no use! It’s no use…

It continues digging through my memories, until it reaches my most treasured one. The memory of us looking at the stars on top of the hill. It knows that is where my heart is at its most vulnerable, where I am at my weakest. I feel tears down my cheeks as the last bits of my mental fortitude are torn into tiny shreds.

I hear that faint voice again, this time I can’t tell where it’s coming from. It asks that simple 4-word question: “What is Your Secret?”

I’m no longer able to resist. With a heavy pain in my heart, I weakly mumble my answer: “I… I love her.”

I am barely able to catch my breath as the thing abruptly stretches the void in my heart further out with its fingers. The pain is tremendous, I scream weakly due to my compromised state.

The voice repeats the question, but in a much more aggressive tone this time, making it sound more like a demand: “WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?!”

The intense pain is still coursing through me as I again tell out my answer: “I FUCKING LOVE ██████, EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT I SHOULDN’T! EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT TELLING THIS WILL HURT HER AND DESTROY EVERYTHING WE’VE BUILT UP TOGETHER! BUT I AM TOO SELFISH TO STOP. I LOVE HER AND I CAN’T MAKE IT STOP!”

A sinking dread overtakes my body after saying that. I can see an expression of pure ecstasy on that thing’s face, for it knows it has won.

It approaches the void it has formed in my heart. I can see it unhinging its massive jaws as a long, grotesque tongue slithers out. My vision goes dark, and all I can feel is the tongue writhing inside my heart, followed by a sharp pain as something is pulled from within. I lose consciousness.

I wake up, it’s morning; something feels off. I try to get out of bed, but everything hurts, so I give up. I try to recall what happened yesterday, but an intense brain fog allows me to remember only fragments.

I don’t know why, but I feel so empty, like something important is missing from my heart. I try to remember what it was but, nothing comes up, absolutely nothing.

This causes me to feel a deep sense of dread. Tears start forming on my face, I cried. Whatever it is that I lost, it was an important part of who I am, something that I just cannot live without.

I cry for hours, mourning over the loss of something I could no longer remember.

Pieces of yesterday start coming back to me. I can remember the pain, the hopelessness and that thing… I remember now that thing, it stole my secret! It has my fucking secret!

A burst of anger jolted me out of bed, the pain no longer bothering me. I knew that I had to chase that thing and do whatever it takes to get my secret back.

I started to look for it. I searched all over the house, made a mess of everything, but I found nothing.

With nowhere else to look, I dress and leave the apartment. When I went downstairs, I saw it for a split second. It was the thing, it was taunting me!

I was furious, not only did it take what was most precious to me, but now it thought it could toy with me? No, I will not allow this. I will catch up to it, I will make it pay!

My blood was boiling from anger as I started to give chase. I chased it through the streets, through parks, through alleyways, I chased and I chased, without any other care in the world.

I could see it just on the edge of my vision, but every time I caught up, it had already gone away, just barely out of my reach. I wasn’t discouraged though, as I knew that I had to catch up to it no matter the cost, no matter how dangerous it got.

That thing would lead me out of the city, onto a highway, then faraway town and finally into some lush woods.

I stopped for a moment when we reached those woods, they somehow felt… familiar.

I pondered for a moment, just how long have I been chasing? How long has that thing been playing this game with me? Was I ever going to catch up?

My legs feel like they’re about to give out, my stomach is growling as if I haven’t eaten in weeks and my mouth is so dry, I feel like it has turned into dust.

Despite what my body is feeling, seeing that thing in the distance reinvigorates my mind. There is only one goal in my mind now, only one question that needs answering, to find out: “What is My Secret?”