Ever since I was young, everyone has commented on the fact that I look just like a giant potato. Strangely they’ve never considered the possibility that I am a giant potato. I was born in an abandoned Thriftway just one mile from a local nuclear meltdown. My skin was spotted with deep wet holes, those were my wonderful ear-tubers. During that time I was quite content just listening, it was so peaceful, but then I sprouted my first eyetuber and saw how complex the world really was. I needed to explore it, but how? Limbless and round it seemed impossible. Fret not dear readers, for soon I would discover the miracle and majesty of tubers! With just three stout tubers…