My Doll Speaks To Me

“Good morning, Mei-Mei” every morning waking up I greeted the small doll usually tucked into my arm, snuggled closely into my chest. For a while Mei-mei was my only friend.

For you see, I was born with a crippling condition that keeps me wheelchair bound, so you can guess how most of my life has played out…Hospital trips..bad days where I could hardly get out of bed, All the painful surgeries.

Each time Mei-Mei has been by my side helping me through it. A gift to me on my 6th birthday, as I opened the box my eyes lit up seeing that doll box for the first time. I was so happy.. Now Mei-Mei is a small doll with a larger head than the body, made from all plush with one purple button and one blue button for eyes. String like shoulder length brown hair.

Most of my younger years were spent doing makeshift tea parties or sleepovers. Even one night I tried to do a makeup session, but that didn’t go too well..

Then close to my 8th birthday..that’s when the night terrors and sleep paralysis started, the doctors always put it down to all the medication I was on and always said the same thing.

“There is nothing we can do, unfortunately you will just have to learn to live with it.”

Typical of doctors, I know. In these night terrors, I was always plagued by the same thing, walking up in my bed at night frozen, unable to move or talk. In the hallway of my room there was always this shadow creature, dark as night..these glowing orbs always watching me, I could always hear it whispering to me..too faint to make out..but it was always talking to me. I would always lay there staring at it, begging to wake up until I would shoot up in the morning, the hallway empty but I always took solus knowing the Mei-mei was there, her button eyes, mouth sewn in a soft smile greeting me warmly.

As I got older the night terrors got easier to manage, only happening once or twice a week, as I always expected, I learned to control my breathing as if it was just a daily task. Though something strange did begin to happen. The dark creature seemed to get closer, like I said at the beginning it was just my hallway, then the doorway..then the corner to my room. I was able to understand the whispers over time..it..it was calling my name ever so faint, the voice itself was wobbly almost as if in fear, its soft tone almost like the softest wind..

“Sarahhhhh…sarahhhh. C-..”

Always cut off as I’d wake, cold sweat beading down my forehead. This left me always wondering..what was it going to say next?

This time something worse happened just after my 20th birthday, that night as I drifted to sleep, the paralyzing feeling came over me once more, internally I was eye rolling as I thought “Here we go again.” But this time as I opened my eyes the figure was standing right beside me, the orb like eyes hidden behind a veil of darkness, the whispering ever so close to my ear. So close yet so far away, as I could not make out any words it was saying.

If I could have moved or screamed, the house down the block would have thought several people were being murdered, but all that escaped my lips was a pitiful murmur, as the thing raised its hand towards my cheek almost as it was to gently stroke it, I woke up, a pool of sweat had formed below me. As I looked for mei-mei. time had worn her plushy figure to a faded state, several patches sewn over her body as the fabric had split. She wasn’t there. Panicked, I looked upwards before I left a soft touch to my forehead.

Mei-mei was sitting upright at the headboard of my bed, the doll’s hand resting against my forehead. At first I thought it was strange how she got up there, but rationalizing it down to “I must have moved her in my sleep.”

As I moved myself to my wheelchair, circling down to the kitchen..My bedroom was on the ground floor for ease, my mother had left a note saying that she had gone to town for medication and the likes, not too weird I was an adult after all.

Though the weird part was nobody was on the streets as I peered out the window, usually you would see some form of life on the streets from joggers..Dog walkers..just something. With my condition I couldn’t really go outside to check. As the night drew even closer, my mother hadn’t returned. Strange as I thought it was cold this evening for being the time of year, now thinking about it..It got dark rather quickly, peering at Mei-Mei sitting in my lap I had found some comfort but still something was wrong.

I lifted the phone to ring my mother to see if I could find out what the delay was but as soon as my ear reached the receiver all I could hear was a soft whisper where a dial tone should be. Returning to my room, the dusk fast approaching I decided to lay in bed, my mind racing on what could possibly be going on.

Before I knew it I had drifted to sleep. I couldn’t move once more “Oh great” I thought shortly before I recalled the previous evening, my breathing becoming more rapid, worried about what I would see once my eyes opened. Slowly but surely I opened my eyes, thinking this thing that had plagued me for years would be standing beside me once more.

Nothing…I saw nothing. For a moment I gave an internal sigh of belief…Terror sprang across my face, I felt something heavy from the foot of my bed, straining my eyes hard to look, What met me was absolute terror. Those dark orbs were just above eye level, almost as the creature didn’t want to be seen, as I took several deep breaths of terror through my nose, my mouth refusing to open, a darkened hand started to slowly creep its way around the end of my bed, like a snake calculating its next strike.

As the hand came ever closer, so slowly..It touched my leg. Just as I shot up, screaming loudly, thinking I was about to be taken into this creature’s dark embrace. I looked around in my manic state, nothing was there. Taking several deep breaths I tried to steady myself, before long I left something wrapped around my leg..Fear struck me..Trying to gain composure, I fought the terror in my head, thinking of every horror movie where the creature is hiding under the blankets.

I counted “One..two…three” As i threw back the blankets, squinting my eyes and scrunching up my face, a few moments in silence as I slowly opened them, there wrapped around my leg was Mei-Mei, she was face down, almost like she was hugging me..protecting me.

“What on earth are you doing down there?” I asked out loud like I expected an answer, as expected I was met by silence.

“Mom?” I called out to the empty halls..Met by silence in return.

I called louder “Mom? Are you there?”

The twilight halls gave no answer. I moved myself to the wheelchair as quietly as I could, for some reason something inside of me wanted to keep quiet, rolling down to the bottom of the stairs I tried calling out for my mother once more, only to be met with deafening silence. Looking outside I was met with an eerie fog resting ever so softly in the darkened sky, flowing ever so lightly across the gardens.

The note my mother had written to me was still idling on the kitchen counter, I was lost on what to do, the confusion was crushing my head, panic setting it, something was so wrong. Where was everyone? I just wanted my mother to come and help me.

I returned to my room, often where I found peace as my safe space but now gave me nothing but endless terror. Rolling ever so slightly I expected something to jump out at me or be waiting to claim me. My hand reached for the wooden door as I slowly pushed open the door, the creaking wood almost sounding like it was too loud. I saw nothing..my room was dark but soft rays of light creeped in, as the morning hours showed themselves, Mei-mei was resting on my bed, her head cocked to one side, legs at a slight cross.

Maneuvering beside my bed, I lifted my precious doll over to my chest as I hugged her tightly. Emotions took over as I began to cry, soft tears trickling down my face as they landed into the brown stringy hair.

A soft whisper rang in my ears dragging out its words “Sarahhhhh”, my head shot up in a panic, that creature that haunted my dreams was lingering beside me. My mouth contorting into a mix of shock and absolute fear, it’s darkened hand gripped my shoulder, I was expecting pain or an extreme cold, but I felt nothing..I shot back into the corner of my room, gasping for air, the creature only moved it’s eyes to watch me. My chest felt like it was about to burst as my lungs took short terrified breaths.

I watched as the creature scanned me, its orbs scanning every detail of my body. But soon it reached behind its back, From darkened black a soft bluish hue came from behind it. I was too scared to do anything, fear keeping me as still as if I was in one of my night terrors once more. The darkened creature started to pull, before long a lantern emerged in its grip as it whispered once more, dragging out my name. “Sarahhhhhh”.

As it raised the Lantern parallel with the floor, the dark veil began to recoil back, the creature’s true form quickly exposing itself. I could only watch as patchwork arms came into view..followed by a stitched body..working itself slowly as the orbs that were its eyes soon came into view..from the colorless white they once were, they shifted to..Blue and purple..I blinked in utter surprise.

It was Mei-mei..only she was human sized, her figure took on the appearance of a woman stitched together as a doll, she whispered once more “Sarahhhhh” as she came closer, though I could not hear steps, it was almost as if she floated across the room, coming to meet my eye level. Her soft hand stroked across my cheek almost as a mother would do to her young child. She soon lifted herself to full height, she held out her hand. I eyed it in shock, not understanding what was going on.

As I slowly took the hand, Mei-mei gave me a soft tug. I stood up, Blinking a few times as I looked at my legs, shock and awe took over as it hit me all at once..I could walk.

Mei-mei looked at me for a moment, before she stepped to the side, an orange glow coming from my bed as she did, I could see my mother standing there, a smile sprung across my face as I finally seen my mother calling out to her, But my voice sounded as it was echoing off every wall. Looking at my mother once again..I could see her crying..An awful look of sorrow on her face. Mei-mei fully moved out of the way of my bed, I could see my doctor at my bedside, with a look of defeat on his face.

He looked at my mother as he shook his head softly, if he was talking to her I couldn’t tell, as he stood her placed a hand on my mother’s shoulder for a moment, before making his way out of my room. As he did I could see my mother break down. Confusion on my face, I slowly made my way to my bed, Mei-mei closely behind me.

Peering down, a feeling of dread took over me..It was..me..I was lying in my bed, short shallow breaths as I watched my chest rise ever so slowly and fall, my face had taken on such a pale color… “Am..I..Dying?” I asked the lonely room.

Soon I felt a hand on my shoulder, peering over looking into the pale face of Mei-mei, she whispered.

“Ihhh hhhhave looked after youhh for so longhhh…Kept youhhhh savehhhh…Now your time to come with me hhhhhas come.”

I listened on with a defeated look, peering between them both as I didn’t know what to say or what to do. A soft tug came from my shoulder, as Mei-mei held up the Lantern once more, as I peered behind it..I could see a gateway just beyond its light, it was tall and endless, I couldn’t tell where it ended or where it led too. As tears streamed down my face, I peered back to my mother, she was sitting at my bedside now holding my hand, I could see my breaths had started to slow down drastically.

Mei-mei took my hand as she led me towards the gate. “It’s timehhhh, Sarahhhhh.” as I heard the gateway open, I could feel something calling for me to enter with Mei-mei, I took one look back as I heard a wail of anguish and I could tell… I had died…